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May 4,1999
One of Robert Frost's most famous poems contains the line: "And I, too, was a swinger of birches". When I think of my friend, Bobby, I like to imagine that as a kid (like the rest of us), he climbed trees, loved to cling to branches as they swayed back and forth with sudden gusts of wind. As children, we all climb a tree sometimes, to get a different perspective on the world, to gain a newer vision of things, to set new goals...to have fun. When I think of my friend, I naturally think of trees, that start off as seedlings and grow taller with time, stronger with the years; that send their roots deeper and further into the earth; that become fuller with age, while taking on their own grace and character; trees, whose branches, while touching other trees around them, also become a place of shade, comfort, and home for God's other creatures, the birds, insects, and animals which inhabit them.
Today, I think too of the book, THE GIVING TREE, which tells us of a tree's usefulness and how it gives itself throughout a person's lifetime: be it shade from a torrid summer day; boards with which to build a house or furniture; paper on which to record the events of our passage through this life; and finally, in the case of the man in the book (the recipient of the tree's unending qualities of giving), a stump which became a chair on which to rest in his old age.
Outside, even at this moment, trees are beginning their annual resurrection to life from the long winter of death, a journey taking them from yellow buds to green leaves, to gold and red and a pallet of other wondrous colors, before their barren slumber. And the cycle will continue on and on...
Strangely, I became Bob's friend while both of us were researching our family trees, when we realized that we had ancestors on a distant branch who were fellow townsmen, who had lived together and farmed their lands next door to each other, and who had walked the dusty roads across three counties from St-Jacques to St-Gabriel, Quebec together. I really felt that in our new-found friendship, old friends had found each other once more. Over the past years, family trees brought us closer together as we spent time researching, not only for ourselves but for others who longed to know themselves and from whence they came. When Bobby started climbing his tree, he perhaps never thought he would one day reach beyond Charlemagne, as he did just a year or so ago on one of his branches. To know that he descended from kings and saints was one of his greatest discoveries. Despite this, he remained himself: the same simple, outgoing, loving person, realizing all these centuries of people had gone into making him the person he was, with the qualities he possessed.
He never tired of contemplating his family history, of learning the lessons it had to teach. His focus in life was always to dig deeper, to try and understand more of his origins. He always called me his "mentor in genealogy" and yet, I envied his insights, his unique ways of looking at life and the world, and had much to learn from them. Those of us who knew him know that his earthly highlights were always his trips to France and to the towns of his patrimony in Canada, and although we were unable to travel with him to these places, he retraced every detail so that we benefited as well. He was a good teacher, an insightful writer, a deep thinker, and many of us have received a great deal from these qualities of his as a result. Today, we can be assured, his questions are all answered... Lucky you, Magoo!
There is a psalm which says: Happy the man who trusts in the Lord; he is like a tree planted by the water, whose leaves never fade, bearing their fruit in due season. These past years had been difficult ones for Bobby; the cancer he fought so bravely and with such a positive attitude, though it seemed to have won the battle, did not win the war. Today, we have come here to take leave of one who shared our lives, whose roots were planted firmly near the stream of God's love and mercy, and to celebrate his triumph over pain.
This past week, as I watched Betty, Bob and Dave at Bobby's bedside reminded me of another scene, one as poignant, one which also contained another tree. That scene also took place on a Friday afternoon, when Jesus himself experienced his last hours of human life, with his mother and the disciple he loved next to him; a moment which lasted until he had accomplished the mission for which the Father had sent him... to show us firsthand how much He loves us. In the surrender to God's will for his human life, like Jesus, our friend Bobby has received the gift of eternal life. And we are told in the Book of Revelation that in that kingdom, God will feed all of us from still another "tree"... a tree of life, of love, of knowledge, and of wisdom. Yes, happy the man who trusts in the Lord, and all of us know down deep how much Bobby trusted in the Lord of Life.
I believe that there are no accidents or coincidences in life. Bobby was placed in our midst by God's design to touch each and all of us in a special way; maybe, even to teach us something: that each of us is important; that each of us is worth loving; that there's more to life and living than the superficial things we perceive to be life's meaning but aren't. Bob was indeed an oak tree, a tower of strength in the midst of his suffering. Like a maple, he shared with us a sweetness for living; like a birch, a playfulness which moves with the breeze of an unseen wind; like a pine, with gentle serenity, he stood by us all, serving us with a care and vigilance that made each of us feel number one in his life, and above all, loved for whom we are.
On my refrigerator hangs a Native American proverb that reads: "When you entered this life crying, people rejoiced - Live your life so that when you leave rejoicing, people will cry." Bobby, our son, brother, lover, friend... we will never forget you, nor the joy of having you share in our lives. We will always love you! We will always remember your presence among us and thank God for such a loving gift! Continue now in peace your climb up the tree, your climb back in time, your climb to the heavens and to the joy of the living God!
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